Mind Games
by Mythdom
Summary: Roxas is killed in a car crash and Axel is still feeling the effects of it. Rated M for language and death.


This is my first story and I'm hoping it'll be good.

Warning: character death and depression

It had been two long years since that fateful day and Axel still couldn't get over losing him. Roxas was everything good in his life and he blamed himself for his death. He felt that if only he could go back and change it he could be happy again. He regretted ever going to that party. "We should have just stayed home or gone to a movie," he said to no one in particular. As he walked down the street he felt all the stares on his back. _They all know, _he thought. _They all know what I did,_ _and they will never let me live it down. _They always stared, but they never asked him or even talked to him. To the rest of the world he was a nobody because no one ever cared, not even his family. While he was in the hospital he could remember all too vividly what had happened the night before.

He picked up Roxas and heading to Demyx's house for a party. Even though they were all underage, there was alcohol, and Axel drank more than anybody. When the party was over he and Roxas got into his car, Axel was too drunk t o drive, but he didn't care. Roxas pleaded with him to let him drive, but Axel wouldn't hear it and drove anyways. As he drove he ran right through a stop light and was T-boned on the passenger side. Axel suffered only a broken arm and a concussion, but the paramedics couldn't save Roxas. Axel never forgave himself and every night he cried himself to sleep in his apartment. His parents had disowned him, his brother Reno rarely talked to him, and only on his birthday, and he had dropped out of school because he couldn't face the others. Even his best friends Demyx, Zexion, and Riku and stopped talking to him. He thought that over time people would begin to forgive him, but it just got worse as time went on. Everyone slowly started to forget about him and eventually got to be too much for him to handle. He had resorted to cutting himself to try and forget about the pain in his soul. He could get a few minutes respite from the tormenting memories, but when he was done they would all come rushing back, threatening to drown him. His memories and the photos of him and Roxas on the shelves were all that were left. Every night before he went to sleep he would pray that Roxas was happy and for forgiveness even though he expected none.

One day, the second anniversary of the crash, Axel was visiting Roxas' grave when he saw Roxas' family. They saw him too and started shouting at him. "You fucking asshole, you did this to him." "How could you even come back here?" "What did he ever do to you?" He heard them all. He knew by now that eventually they would stop and leave him alone, and that until then he would have to listen to all of it. Every stinging comment breaking his soul and made him want to just curl up and die. He had hoped by now that he would have become numb to the stings, but when they started all his defenses crumbled. _I deserve it all _he thought, _maybe I can just leave, then they will never have to see me again. _But he knew he couldn't because he would never leave Roxas again. He walked away from the grave and the sobbing family and walked into a bar. He was hopping to drown his sorrows away. He got drunk and the bartender had to throw him out. As he stumbled out of the bar and back to his apartment he couldn't help but remembering the good times he had with Roxas, all the laughs, the smiles, the hugs, and especially the kisses. _I'll never be able to have any of those times again. _He thought. He walked by his dresser and saw a photo of him and Roxas at the beach in the Destiny Islands. It was the place where Axel had asked Roxas out and they had shared there first kisses. As he recalled the happy times, he couldn't stop the tears that started down his tattooed cheeks. Once they started they just flowed until he was a sobbing ball shivering on the floor. He would never be that happy or love anyone like he loved Roxas. He got his razor to try and stop the pain, but this time the pain was too much to just cover up. He took one last glance at the photo of the dirty blonde on his shoulders pushing his red spikes out of the way and looking so happy. "I'm sorry I ever hurt you," he said to the picture as he slashed his wrists. _I can finally be with him. _It was his last thought as he slowly faded out of consciousness.

Roxas was looking down from his cloud in Heaven not feeling happy even though he was in paradise. _I will never be happy without him _he thought. He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he didn't notice someone approaching. He jumped when strond arms grasped his waist and spun him around in the air. "I'm here," a voice told he him, and they was finally happy.

Not bad for my first story. Please tell me how I did so I know what I did wrong.


End file.
